4 steps to a life of purpose: a different approach to goal setting.
The masses seem hellbent on setting goals at the start of the new year, and we all know how that goes. But this isn’t one of those posts. I am not going to tell you to start the new year with some really cool, really trendy resolutions that I know won’t last; I actually think that is a waste of time.
Not only is there plenty of data to prove it, but from my own experience and what I have witnessed, I have come to discover that most people just aren’t approaching goal setting the right way; and because of this, they are likely doomed to fail before they even start.
I believe that people need to align their goals with their core values, beliefs, and principles. Doing so will help you navigate your life in a more purposeful way. Living a life in harmony with your core values will naturally lead you to set more meaningful goals and be more likely to accomplish them.
This post is designed to help you identify and live an actionable life in line with your core values and beliefs. The best part, I will attempt to get you there in a 20-minute activity.
So let’s kick this thing off!
Today, we will begin with the end in mind. And when I say end… I mean “the end”. The end of your life.
In “the end”, there are no more excuses to be made, and no more chances to rectify or make changes, it’s too late; it’s “the end”, it’s over… Are you satisfied?
*Quick disclaimer – I did not invent this activity. I am not exactly sure where the idea came from. I first heard it in a book titled “Mind Hacking” by Sir John Hargrave found here. That being said, I’ve created my own version of the activity that I feel can be easily implemented by most people.
How do we start?
We will start by loosely defining what is important to us, what our core values and core beliefs are. They may not be perfectly clear yet, but you need to begin the process now and let them evolve over time. Next, we will create action steps directly related to cultivating these core values. Through constant work and reflection, these core values will become clear as day.
The result will equate to a life of meaning and purpose, where you will feel fulfilled and accomplished.
So with that said, let’s begin with the end in mind and jump right in! Prepare yourself emotionally to envision yourself at your own funeral.
Pause – you will die, I will die, everyone will die. Morbid, I know but powerful nonetheless. Get over it for now and you will see just how powerful this activity can be.
Task 1 –
Set aside 20 minutes for this activity where you will not be interrupted. Grab something to write with, print the worksheets I have provided, and find a quiet space.
Now sit or lay down and close your eyes. Get comfortable and breathe through your nose, taking long slow breaths. Continue slowing your breath and focusing only on the air going in and out of your nose. Notice the sensation of breathing and attempt to focus solely on your breath to the best of your ability.
After a few minutes, when you are feeling relaxed, imagine yourself at a funeral; YOUR funeral. All of your closest friends and family members are there, remembering and honoring you and your life. You are not able to participate in the conversations, rather you are just floating around unnoticed from person to person, group to group, conversation to conversation. You are calm and curious.
You peek into the casket and you see yourself. Look at yourself and notice as many details as possible. What are you wearing? What is your hair color and style? Analyze your wrinkles, your jewelry, or lack thereof. What does the casket look like? The position of your hands, your pillow or adornments, etc.
You can hear conversations in the background. Accept that you are no longer able to touch or speak with your loved ones. What is the temperature of the room? What does it smell like? What decorations, flowers, colors do you see?
Now take a moment to feel the emotions in the room. Who is there? What are they feeling and saying? Is it a sad funeral or one where people are celebrating a life well lived? Who will speak at your funeral? What will they say? What will side conversations be? What stories will people share of you and your life? What did you accomplish and provide the world with that really made you proud? What do you wish you would have done?
Stay in this space for as long as you can. The longer the better. The clearer, the more vivid and detailed you can envision your funeral, the more powerful this activity will be for you. I recommend about 10 minutes.
Task 2 –
After you have finished the activity, and while you are still in a quiet space, complete the first worksheet titled “Discovering your core values”. I separated the chart into 7 different categories or facets of life. Feel free to add or omit any categories.
Your task is simply to write descriptive adjectives in each box. Don’t get too concerned with perfection. Write as many, or as few adjectives as you want in each box. You can always add more or delete some in the future. Just get the adjectives on paper, and get it done now.
Although we are not looking for perfection in this section, I do want to stress is that you should be as honest as possible. It may also benefit you to ask someone who you are close with (like a spouse or a close relative) to assist you with this portion of the activity. To make this even more impactful, you can have that person complete a separate worksheet about you, so you can compare answers.
Download the first worksheet titled “Discovering your core values” here.
After completing the first worksheet, it’s time to narrow things down. Review what you wrote and remove any adjectives you are not in love with. Leave a maximum of 3 adjectives in each category (it is OK if you have less). You can do this by circling the 3 most important adjectives in each category.
Task 3
In this section were are going to create action steps to help you live a life in harmony with your core values. In other words, we will identify small steps to take that will lead us to become the person we wish to become, and by doing so, we will feel fulfilled.
Download the second worksheet titled “Your daily affirmations” here.
Voila! you now have some powerful and actionable affirmations!
Task 4: Write them. Every day.
Write these affirmations every day for a year, and your life will change dramatically. The affirmations can absolutely change, this is a work in progress, the real power is in your intent and your momentum. Just keep writing them.
By doing so, you will have more clarity and energy, and you will feel more motivated throughout the day. Most importantly, you will be living the life you were meant to live.
Bonus tip number 1 –
If you want to supercharge this process add in an oral component; say these affirmations out loud while looking at yourself in the mirror every day. You can sing and dance when you say them, use strange voices, different volumes, change pitch and intonation; be creative and have fun. The more passion you have when saying these affirmations, the more likely you are to engrain them in your DNA.
Bonus tip number 2 –
Share your core values and affirmations with another person or group of people through mastermind sessions, phone calls, texts, or face to face conversation. The more you share them and express them to others, the more these core values will evolve and the more clear you will become. By sharing your intentions, you are essentially enlisting an army of supporters, enrolling them to hold you accountable! You will feel a sense of responsibility to them, and they will feel a sense of responsibility to help you see these through. Powerful!
Summary
So before you go buying the latest apps, fanciest planners, or setting your New Year’s resolutions, take a journey to the end of your life. Do you like what you see? Do you like the path you are on? What do you want people to say about you when you have passed?
Discover your core values today and let them evolve as you transition through life. Write, rewrite, scream, and sing your affirmations from the rooftops so that the world can hear. The universe is listening. Set your intentions every day to take actionable steps toward living a fulfilled life in line with what truly matters to you. What you used to call “goals” will melt into your everyday actions, and you will realize more success and happiness than you could have ever dreamed of.
One love,
Nico
